“She’s probably not that interested, bruv.”

Why trusting your gut is one of the best pieces of advice you’ve never taken seriously.

I’ve had so many conversations with friends, clients, and even dudes at the gym about a woman they’re kind of dating, and they’re in this odd and annoying limbo phase. It veers into the realm of emotional jury duty with no end date.

So let’s answer that question right now.

Have you ever heard of Occam's Razor principle?

It’s basically a principle based on this simple fact. When faced with multiple possible explanations. The simplest one is most likely to be true.

🔹 Example 1 - The “She Didn’t Text Back” Spiral

You text a woman after a good date, and she doesn’t reply for 2 days.
Your brain…

“Maybe she lost her phone… or her grandma died… or she got kidnapped by an ex and is sending telepathic signals for help.”

Simplest explanation (and probably the truest)

She’s just not that interested.

👉 No need for a CSI-level mystery. Simpler = Likelier.

🔹 Example 2 - The “My Car Won’t Start” Panic

Your car won’t start in the morning.
Your panic…

“Maybe the alternator’s fried… or there’s a major electrical issue… or someone sabotaged it.”

Simplest explanation

The battery’s dead. Happens all the time. A jump-start solves it.

👉 Before you spiral into conspiracy mode, check the basics.

So you can play verbal or mental gymnastics as to why she takes 7+ hours to respond or hasn’t given you a clear date to meet up yet, or hasn’t given you her number off of the dating app, or she’s seen your message on IG and hasn’t responded, or it’s been the 5th date, and you haven’t even kissed!

The simplest answer.

She’s not that interested.

Sorry.

Trust your own heart and natural human instincts, always. Your heart’s quiet whisper and your instincts’ subtle nudge are the universe’s way of speaking wisdom to you; to trust them is to align yourself with the age-old stoic practice of following nature’s course, unshaken by life’s bullshit.

Time and time again, I used to give women the benefit of the doubt. But when my heart told me not to do so, I did it anyway, looking like a fucking idiot.

That’s where I was constantly punished. Follow your heart and natural human sharp intuition. That instinctual hint that this is not where you should be, this is not who you should be with, and your heart is at risk. The heart’s intuition is a lantern in the dark, follow its glow, and you’ll navigate the storms of life with the foresight of the ancients.

What do science and biology say?

The validity and reliability of intuition as a decision-making tool is a subject of ongoing debate among psychologists and other researchers.

“Never apologize for trusting your intuition — your brain can play tricks, your heart can blind, but your gut is always right.” — Rachel Wolchin

There is some scientific evidence to suggest that the gut, or more specifically, the gut microbiome, may play a role in influencing our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

Okay, but we knew that, right?

Apparently, the gut is home to trillions of microorganisms that help regulate many bodily functions, including digestion, metabolism, and immune system function. However, more recent studies have also suggested that the gut microbiome may directly impact the brain and nervous system and can influence our emotions, mood, and decision-making.

Holy shit.

The gut microbiome may influence our social behavior, including our ability to perceive and respond to social cues.

The whole body as a whole is such a delicate tool we use to survive, and every facet of it must be understood and treated with TLC. Especially having good intuition when a woman couldn’t care less about you and you’re as useful to her a one legged man in an arse kicking party.

All the times I looked STUPID.

I used to toil around with sloppy-eyed ambivalence and instead thought with my penis as opposed to logical thinking, a trap I would imagine many men have fallen into. Relying on my genital guidance system, I wandered through life’s choices like a pinball, bouncing erratically and hoping to land in a safe spot without tilting the machine.

My experiences aren’t reflective of how every man should feel; however, I’m giving you these examples, and I’m hoping there’s some real value here so you can learn from my mistakes.

Story 1: “It’s too early to commit.”

There was once an instance when I was dating this great woman. However, the first time, we got intimate. I told her that I have a rule that if I’m having sex with someone, I’m only going to date her, and if she feels the same, we’ll date exclusively and see what happens. I’ve felt this way for a while cause there’s too much gross shit out there, and the thought of hooking up with someone after she hooked up with someone else the night before makes me want to hurl.

She agreed and said, “you know that you’re the only person I want to sleep with.” So I said, okay, that’s fair. We went on to five other dates after that. But what I found interesting is that trying to get a hold of her and trying to spend some time with her was becoming increasingly difficult because she was always so strapped for time. What was even more interesting was that she was working part-time. And she was living with her parents. So, where was all of her time going?

My intuition told me she was seeing someone else or other people. She just didn’t have clairvoyance enough to tell me the truth. On one occasion, she was over at my house and showed me a funny meme that one of her friends sent her. As she was scrolling through her text messages to find the meme, I saw a glimpse of a message with the contact name of “hot doctor.” So after she showed me that meme, I remained calm and said to her:

Me: So, who’s “hot doctor.”

Her: Oh, he used to be my “friends with benefits” guy; now we just text each other every now and then.

And it was at that moment that I immediately knew that not only was she texting this guy. She’s probably sleeping with him, too.

So I turned around, and I said,

Me: “So am I the only person that you are seeing?”

Her: Actually, yeah, you’re the only person I’m seeing, but I’m talking to other guys.”

That’s how I felt!

And it was at that moment that I was reminded of the realization that some women really ain’t shit. She literally got away with a technicality with the semantics. In order to absolve herself from being slightly morally bankrupt. There was nothing wrong with what she was doing if she was honest. If she were honest, I would have walked.

“Don’t go against your inner knowing. Just don’t. Trust yourself.”

― Maria Erving

Story 2 - Boring Ass Woman

I once was dating a girl, and she wasn’t bad by any means, but she really didn’t have a lot to say. It was as if I was trying to get blood from a stone. At one point, I asked her if she felt like her job had helped her character grow. (She was an RN). She responded, “I don’t like these kinds of questions.” Then I asked her if she had any questions for me, but she didn’t. After the first date, I left, and I remember thinking, “I’m not gonna be texting her again,” and then she hit me up and said, “I’m just really awkward, I get really uncomfortable on first dates you, know? Can you give me another shot?” So, in my mind, my gut instinct tells me this girl is just not a good fit; she can’t even have basic human communication with you. Don’t waste your time. But I did. On the second date, I kind of got something from her, but nothing really that made me compelled to see her again. Well, I’m a bloody clown, so I agreed to a 3rd date.

A 3RD FUCKING DATE! What’s wrong with me?

She planned it and insisted that I go over to her house for some drinks.

I went there. And it was fascinating because it got to a point where she just didn’t want to reveal any personal information. She didn’t want to tell me about her life. She didn’t want to tell me the kind of guys she’s dated; she didn’t want to tell me what she was really looking for. It was just a waste of time. My gut instinct told me from the get-go that it wasn’t gonna work out with this woman, and I ignored it once again.

“Perhaps the most important thing we can ever do in our life is to find a way to our intuition.”

― Ivan Erenda

Story 3 - Shit Texter

I had made plans to go on a date with a great lady. The crux was texting her was filled with too many instances of inconsistency. I would text her in the morning, and then I wouldn’t hear from her the next day, or I would text her again and I wouldn’t hear from her for a day and a half. So I thought to myself, “I’m done with this chick.” The day of the date came.

She bailed.

She gave me some excuse about family in town blah blah blah blah blah.

So I think to myself, “all right, this one’s a wash.” She asked, “Oh, are you free tomorrow or the weekend?” So I thought, if she’s trying to force an actual date, a second opportunity, I’m not an asshole, so maybe this is how it’s supposed to be. The time of the second date came, and sure enough, she bailed 2 hours before the second date because she had a meeting or something like that, and I told her, “look, you seem really busy, when things change, let me know.”

She didn’t even respond, which meant she wasn’t really that interested in the first place. To this day, I will not get why she was insistent on trying to see me for a second date or why she was insistent on communicating with me because I knew, I knew that this girl was going to flake again.

“Follow reason but don’t ignore that gut feeling. We create reasons with our limited knowledge and experience, but gut feelings often come from universal knowledge.”

― Debasish Mridha

Your experiences are your data…

Your gut is your data, your gut instincts.

Your historical data tells you to look deep inside your soul. Your soul tells you, “this is what you’ve dealt with before. This is what’s happened in the past learn from it.” I want you to take people as they are; I want you to see every single woman in a positive light; however, it might happen again. You have to be emotionally prepared for that. Preparation for the future is a fortress built on the foundations of past trials, standing resilient in the face of life’s cyclical dating storms filled with rejection and women who can’t make their minds up.

Be very, very careful.

Now, there are a few ways you can combat this…

1. You can just be upfront and honest and say, “hey, to be quite honest, I’m not really sure how I’m feeling about the date tomorrow. You’ve been a bit inconsistent with your texts and if you’re not interested just let me know. I won’t take offense”. Give these women an out because they want to be nice people. At least you know that you’ve tried to do everything that you could possibly do in order to make sure that this date happens, right?

2. Ignore your gut and keep making the same mistakes with the same kind of clowns who don’t respect anyone’s time but their own. A man who ignores the whisper of the gut often faces the scream of consequence.

3. Just ignore them. If you contact someone and they don’t text you for a day and a half. Move on. There’ll always be some lame excuse from them. Just ignore them and know that she’s a waste of time, to be quite honest. Excuses are like leaves in the wind; they flutter easily from the inconsiderate; recognize the absence, for where interest lies, delay dies.

You must never ignore your gut instincts when it comes to any kind of dating because your gut instincts will always, always tell you the truth.

You’re the main character in your dating life story, and your gut instincts are your most honest critics; listen to them, or you risk applauding for a performance that doesn’t deserve your standing ovation.

“Feelings do not always determine truth, but they can sometimes tell you what is true.”

― J.R. Rim

I have a bonus story for you right now regarding a situation where I ignored my gut instincts (Yet again).

I’ll never forget it was at a museum on a first date. And she had Season Passes there. As we walked in, the receptionists said, “good to see you again, you guys really like this place.” And I remember thinking, “Oh no, I’m a black dude, which means that. She was in a situation where she took another black guy there”. I didn’t even say anything because I didn’t want her to catch on to the fact that I knew this was her spot for first dates. This is what she does; she takes people to the gallery with her Season Pass. She’s that much of a serial dater. I’ll be honest with you; she was a significantly attractive woman; we actually really got on well, so I ignored it. We planned for a date for next week, so I was excited. I’ll never forget the day after the first date. I had gone into a coffee shop, and sure enough, there she was with another guy, her hand in his lap. I wasn’t even mad. I knew what time it was.

Charge it all to the game.

Thanks for reading!

- Mav.