Why don’t I give dating advice to women anymore?

A lot of my female friends would ask me for dating advice about guys, and I’d usually be very blunt and honest with the advice.

Friend A -

Her: On the first date, I told him I used to be a cheerleader, and he asked if he could see me in the cheerleader uniform. I asked him what he was like in high school, and he said, “horny for cheerleaders.” Do you think that’s a red flag!?

Me: Of course it is; he’s just tryna smash. Sounds like a waste of time to me.

Friend B -

Her: My boyfriend said he wants to save some cash this year to buy a house, so for my birthday dinner, he wants me to pay half.

Me: How much do you think the dinner will be?

Her: Around $80, maybe.

Me: I don’t know, man. That seems kind of weird. If I were you, I’d dig a bit deeper.

Her: What’s been bothering me is that last month, he splurged on a $150 bottle of wine for a female friend’s birthday.

Me: BAHAHAHAHHAHAHA, I doesn’t give a shit about you. Break up and move on.

Friend C

I’ve been seeing him for three months, and he only likes to see me once a week. Do you think he’s seeing other women?

Me: Have you asked him?

Her: Not really.

Me: Maybe you should.

None of them listened to my advice; all of them got burned and hurt by these men who were playing them for fools. I knew it was as clear as rain, but despite me being very clear with them. They refused to take my advice and do the right thing for their own sanity. They treated my advice like one of those looooong Terms and Conditions pages, acknowledged its existence, never bothered to read it, and clicked ‘agree’ to their emotional apocalypse.

It happens a lot in my personal life. I give dating advice to some women, and they simply just ignore it. Now, let me be vehemently clear about this.

THIS ARTICLE IS BASED ON NOTHING BUT MY OPINION. I could very well be wrong. It’s just my own personal thoughts. I’m not saying this is all women. It’s based on personal experiences. As always, I’m very open to other paradigms. If you don’t like it, kiss my arse. I mean that last part.

1. I Have No lived experience dating men.

I’ve never dated a man.

Pretty basic, right?

But I’ve never dated a single man, so I’m not really comfortable giving advice to women about how to bag that dream man when I’ve never tried to do it myself.

Women have a completely different set of challenges than men; I know some, but there are a whole host more. Women date passively. They are the pursued, not the pursuers, so sometimes it can be challenging for them to figure out who’s dating them for the right reasons, and yes, there are some who are pursuers, but those women are outliers. They may receive all the attention, but attention is not the same as intention, and that distinction is where heartbreak hides.

It’s even worse for the women who are attractive and have amazing boobs or a fantastic bum to match. Cause sometimes even the most sincere of men are only doing the “long con” to get some sex and a situationship. A woman can attract ten suitors in a week, but attraction alone reveals nothing about character, depth, or devotion.

I honestly wouldn’t have a clue how to advise on that cause it’s simply not my lived experience. I couldn’t ever give that kind of advice in reasonable confidence.

My experience is being the pursuer.

There are simply certain stages of men’s and women’s dating lives that are starkly different. For example

• Men typically ask women out and plan the first date

• Women are the recipients of this approach.

• Men often navigate the pressure of making the first move, while women evaluate the intention and authenticity behind it.

• Men delve into the realm of crafting the perfect message to spark interest, whereas women sift through these advances, discerning genuine connection from mere pursuit.

• Men lead with proposals and gestures, aiming to impress, while women respond, granting or withholding their favor based on the suitor’s presentation and compatibility.

• Men bear the burden of rejection, braving the odds with each live approach, while most women wield the power of selection, choosing whom to welcome into their emotional space.

• Men often invest in the outward display of affection and interest, strategizing to capture attention, whereas women assess these efforts, looking for signs of sincerity and long-term potential.

No matter how equal we get and how much closer we are to an egalitarian Western society, men's and women’s experiences of dating are simply different. They won’t change anytime soon. Believing that the dating world will level out for men and women is like waiting for sharks and dolphins to attend the same support group; both navigate the same seas, but you’re never quite sure who’s there to share and who might turn the meeting into a feeding frenzy.

Trust me on this. It will not likely change. I’m honestly not sure if we should. I like my role as a man and like somewhat traditional women.

We might try our best to live in a world of intersexual equality, but the reality is that societal norms are not remotely close to advancing these changes when it comes to dating, so because initial dating experiences are so widely different, I don’t feel qualified to give that advice.

2. The men who give women dating advice are pandering dip-shits.

Yeah, they are. And they’re so fucking annoying. I find them so bleedingly insufferable.

CANNOT STAND THEM.

Just kiss ass pandering wankers who just say what they’ve heard other women say and repeat cliched performative narratives that they know will draw attention cause, in this case, the spin is, “it’s being said by a man.” It somehow validates some women’s myopic opinions and delves deeper into putting men into this weird monolithic precipice where, apparently, we all think and do alike.

Here are some examples of these annoying ass dickheads:

Oh, fuck off, “Derrick.”

How do women not see through how full of shit this guy is!?

Firstly, he oversimplifies relationships by presenting them as one-sided, not acknowledging the need for mutual accountability and conflict resolution from BOTH partners. Do you hear that? Both partners! It also risks escalating conflicts instead of fostering understanding and resolution. He implies that the responsibility of ‘loving correctly’ lies solely with MEN, ignoring the shared responsibilities inherent in a healthy relationship. This promotes a victim mentality, where self-reflection and personal growth are nowhere to be seen. What about open, two-way communication in resolving issues? Is it non-existent in his eyes? This might be his pandering to empower women to not tolerate poor treatment, but it neglects the complexities of relationships and the importance of MUTUAL effort; this just means his female audience becomes more unproductive, with their attitudes and behaviors in partnerships being the very problem they’re trying to avoid.

Unfortunately, there are a lot of “male dating coaches for women” like this. I never want to be associated with them. It’s too easy to see past their bullshit.

Like, c’mon, man!! If this dude isn’t the corniest mofo online, look at that corny, pensive stare as he stages a photo pretending he’s “galantly” taking the trash out, clearly flexing as he does it. How anyone could take advice from a man who’s so far out of touch with reality is nuts to me.

There’s more, though…

Jacob can kiss my arse too. This kiss-ass advice is so cringe for me.

He upholds and reinforces outdated gender norms and traditional power dynamics that can stifle both individuals’ freedom to express themselves authentically. Do you not value equality? This advice is ass backward.

The expectation for the man to cover all expenses creates undue financial pressure, which is unmerited, especially in the early dating stages. People and relationships are deeply varied. Setting a hardline, one-size-fits-all course of action for a first date undermines the varied, personal intricacies that make dating insightful and fun.

By positing that the man must decide on the time and the area of the date, it wanes to value the critical matter of common resoluteness and each party’s autonomy. It also subtly signifies that only the man’s strength wants, and needs direct the course of the relationship, which might foster an inequitable foundation for any potential connection. Honestly, I could continue to eviscerate this chump, but I won’t. It’s too easy. Lions don’t pick on the weak, and yes, I’m a fucking lion.

Dating guidance and narratives should champion love, dignity, sympathy, and level-headedness, permitting each to reckon with and define for themselves how they wish to carry on in the game of love. That’s why I give advice on how to get the girl and not deep relationship advice as everyone is different.

Then there’s the biggest female scammer of all.

Matthew-Fucking-Hussey. Who has more rebrands than Jlo has divorces.

Matthew Hussey.

He’s a little smarter than Derrick cause he has most people write his own content for him, and he scams women via conferences. He is a salesman, clickbait genius. In every video, he spends about 2–3 minutes gassing it up and selling his retreats before he’s even said anything, so he can get his view count registered. Then he’ll proceed to tell you about one of his conferences and how exclusive they are. Then he’ll finally tell you what he promises in the video.

What are some titles of his videos-

• 3 Man-Melting Phrases That Make A Guy Fall For You

• He’s Stringing You Along? Text Him This Now…

• Get him to chase you!

• What he says vs. what he really means

• Never say this to a guy

YAWN.

The same switch and bait tactics. The same absolute statements that Matt apparently seems to know about most of us men out there. Who the hell is this guy? You don’t speak for us, nor do you represent the balance of probability. I’m going to guess Matt has 10–15 close male friends. I’m going to guess that they’re mostly the same because we typically like people who are like us. So if he’s got 15 male friends he’s really close to, is this his research? Like, what’s he basing any of his tips on? He just says, “Well men are gonna do this and blah blah blah blah,” and people eat this shit up as if he’s discovered fire. It’s nuts.

Let’s talk about his pseudo-Ponzi scheme (Yes, it's an exaggeration). This man charges $10,000 dollars an hour for 1:1 dating advice. Licensed Phd relationship psychologists don’t even charge that much.

He’s a good-looking bloke who talks smoothly and “knows the male psyche.” This man is the best male dating expert who targets women scam artists there is.

He runs a 6-day coaching retreat twice a year in Florida — and charges ~$4,000 per person.

$4000 dollars! I’ve been on trips with my girl that aren’t that expensive; what on earth!?

In the space of a period of 6 days, he coaches 200–300 women on how to be their ultimate selves and find the guy of their dreams.

WOW. All for the price of $4000 DOLLARS!!!!

It gets worse. Apparently, he’s keeping clients’ credit card information on file and using it to charge fraudulent charges on their cards!

The worst thing about him is he started out coaching Pickup Artists. You know what those are? Seedy lounge lizards who wander around bars and clubs trying to “pick up” hot chicks. So what he’s done is flip his old chauvinistic preaching he was touting to the men there and selling it as “Dating advice from the male psyche” by preying on women's past pain and emotional connection to him. It’s a smart business play. Insidious and morally bankrupt, but I see what he did there.

Ultimately, these dudes are scammers!

Please avoid any dating expert who tells you exactly what you want to hear with zero accountability.

3. They don’t want to listen to me. Cause I’m a man.

Nowadays, if I comment on anything on TikTok, IG, or Facebook in relation to what some women can do to avoid shitty men I’m hit with.

“What do you know you;re a man!”

“Ha ha ha, a cist mell trying to give me advice, nothing new here,”

“The patriarchy at it again”.

“We don’t need men”.

“Stay in your lane, buddy, women’s issues aren’t your playground!”

“Oh look, another man-splainer in the wild, thinking he’s got the handbook on women’s experiences!”

“Thanks, but no thanks. We’ve had enough of men dictating our choices!”

“Classic mansplaining! Because obviously, every man is an expert on women’s lives, right?”

Well, okay.

This shit simply isn’t worth my time as more and more women become hostile towards men for simply existing. Why would I want to give you any advice when you don’t even like us?

Have fun not being able to discern a douchebag from a guy who wants to treat you like an incredible person. I was honestly trying to help. So go off. But unfortunately, I’ve been privy to a lot of conversations with men about the women’s time their wasting as they laugh in glee. Or I know men who have had rosters of upwards of 6–8 women in their rotation. It’s fucking nuts out there. I legit wouldn’t want any woman to be a part of that. But what do I know, right? I’m simply a privileged, toxic cis male who apparently has everything handed to him.

4. They get offended and pick and choose parts of the advice they don’t like.

For example, sometimes the advice is very, very simple. I’d divide it into five categories if women want to find a long-term relationship.

1. Lose weight and stay in shape.

2. Be agreeable, friendly, and feminine.

3. Be family-oriented and leave the door open for kids.

4. Be intelligent and wise.

5. Be forthcoming and honest.

Now, this is, of course an oversimplification and based on my own experiences and common sense. But check this out…

• American Psychological Association — Women who are highly agreeable tend to have better relationships.

• A study in the “Journal of Personality and Social Psychology” suggests that women with positive social traits are linked to greater relationship satisfaction.

• The Pew Research Center indicates that a majority of people consider having shared interests in children and family life pivotal for a successful marriage.

• According to a survey by the Pew Research Center, nearly 80% of men consider trust as the most important factor in a relationship.

• Evolutionary psychology suggests that certain body shapes are universally appealing due to indicators of health and fertility. For example, a waist-to-hip ratio (WHR) of around 0.7 for women is often considered attractive across the whole world, as it’s believed to be an indicator of fertility and good health.

There’s plenty more where that came from; these things are simple…

“It is what it is”.

But just by writing this, women will be outraged and talk in circles about outliers and why this isn’t true.

They’ll say. Femininity isn’t a monolith. Societal expectations of femininity can be limiting. A fulfilling relationship appreciates a woman’s unique strengths and personality. And they’d be absolutely right.

The reality is I can give honest and straightforward advice to most men, and they’d most likely take it on the chin. That’s why I rarely, if ever, try to spare feelings with my writing. You can either handle it or you’re shook. I’d give straightforward advice to women, and they’d most likely be offended and point out outliers, claiming they’ll find this unicorn of a dude.

When on the balance of probability between the two women above. If you have a room with ten men and ask them to choose between the two. Who would be the general consensus? We men know, but some women would simply defend it and say it’s not true, and make a billion different excuses as to why.

But here’s the rub, weight can be lost. Yet people refuse to take that step to eat right and exercise consistently.

5. I’m too blunt and direct.

Which means most men can handle it. Women hang on to how I say things, not what I actually say. A soft answer turns away wrath, yet even the gentlest words stir anger in those who love to quarrel. Which means every article I used to write they’d have to be a fucking disclaimer. But even when I put that there, some women would still get offended. A word to the wise is enough, but even a thousand words won’t satisfy the unwilling listener. So, I just started writing for men. Every now and then, I get some performative crybaby man, but I just ignore him. My writings for men. Not cowards who care about what other people think.

Yeah, I said it.

If I say, shut the fuck and pull your pants up and get back to work. There’s no moral outrage cause men expect to be spoken to that way. We’re not coddled, and we’re used to people not pacifying their words for us. It’s always “man up,” not “woman up” cause people expect us to have huge hairy cojones. Where society expects men to bear the weight of blunt truths, it is there that the strength of a man’s character is forged, in the unwavering acceptance of life’s unvarnished realities.

6. I can’t give corny, whimsical dating advice

A lot of women’s dating advice isn’t really grounded in reality. It’s whimsical, not based on any action. While women’s dating advice often dances in the fluffy pink clouds of idealism, men’s guidance is firmly planted in the soil of pragmatism, offering actionable steps rather than fanciful notions.

They say things like…

• “You find love when you’re not looking.”

• “Let things happen naturally.”

• “If it’s meant to be, it will be.”

• “Just be confident.”

• “Let the universe bring your souls together.”

• “The right person will just know how to make you happy.”

Can you think of any? Let me know in the comments. The reality is these things are great to hear and they sound lovely, sure. But they’re not based on reality. They feel and sound good, but it’s not helpful. They are like ornate feathers, delicate and alluring, floating gracefully on the breeze of optimism, but when weighed against the gravity of real-world challenges, they prove insubstantial and ineffective, and absolutely fucking useless.

“You find love when you’re not looking” — Oh, absolutely! Because the best life-changing moments always happen when we’re as observant as a garden gnome. Forget proactive searching or self-improvement; your soulmate will likely trip over your neglected dating profile while you’re busy watching cat videos. It’s like expecting to win the lottery without buying a ticket, but who needs logic when you have fate?

“Let things happen naturally” — Yes, because everything natural is always pleasant, right? Like hurricanes, or when you accidentally step on a Lego. Why put any effort into understanding your wants or pursuing someone when you can just wait for the cosmic forces to deliver Mr. Right to your doorstep along with your pizza?

“If it’s meant to be, it will be.” This is the relationship equivalent of saying if your house is on fire, don’t bother with the extinguisher; if you’re meant to have a house, it won’t burn down! It champions a fatalistic love life where effort, compatibility, and communication skills are as unnecessary as a comb in a bald convention.

Relying on these fluffy, fairy-tale platitudes is about as useful as a chocolate teapot. They’re charming in a Hallmark card sort of way but about as practical as knitting fog when it comes to the nitty-gritty of real-world dating.

Then here I come along telling the truth, being straight down the middle, thinking critically, and not pulling my punches; of course, most women would never take my advice.

It simply “doesn’t sound nice”.

So there you have it.

This is why all of my advice goes to men. The reality is, in my experience, most women can’t really handle my brand of advice, and I genuinely don’t blame them in comparison to the people out there telling them what they want to hear instead of being honest. Some men can’t handle my info either, and to them, I say. Good.

We don’t want you here either, you’re sensitive little proclivities aren’t ready for my metaphorical dry slaps of advice.

My advice is for men who have the courage and gumption to change. To know they’re not perfect and want to be their best self. To understand that as a man, everything you achieve is earned through relentless effort, perseverance, and resilience because there’s a common misconception that men have it easy. Only when the well is dry do we know the value of water; similarly, a man understands his true potential when he confronts his challenges head-on, striving for greatness.

We’re men; we’re lions. We should be great, and we should win every day by being our very best selves, our strongest, kindest, most empathic, wisest, and the person our parents always wanted us to be, because winning isn’t everything. It’s the only thing.

I’m here for you, fellas. Take it or leave it.

Your friend,

Mav.