Why I'll Never Give Up My Seat to a Woman...

Men Racing for Tube Seats? It’s a Chivalry Crisis Or an Equality Puzzle?

Ah yes.

Another day, another random allegedly progressive woman who’s holding men accountable to traditional roles, men she knows nothing about and has never met.

Yet the question was asked,

“Why don’t men give up seats for women on the tube anymore?”.

That’s a good question, and luckily for me, women have made it exponentially easier to answer that question. But be warned, you won’t like the answer.

@catlouisemxLondon generation!!! I couldn’t turn around without bursting off laughter at what I was seeing!!!🤣 #foryoupage #fyp #train #men

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But why? Why won’t some random man you don’t know give a seat to a fully able-looking woman, to whom he knows nothing about, in the age of information, where she could hate men, vote against men, or even respect men? Why, oh why, in 2025 will a man not cling to an archaic social norm of chivalry?

Shall I place my jacket on the muddy street so you can walk over it too? Or should I tip my bowler hat to you in admiration of your beauty, just like in the 20s?

Or do women simply want it both ways?

You tore down the playbook, don’t act surprised when the game changes.

Are they the new age traditional women who say they “don’t need no man, and men are trash and natural predators,” according to them.

Or the old school women who want to live in a society that embraces traditional norms?

Choose a lane.

And yes, it's black and white.

It’s like watching someone torch their house, then complain about the air conditioning. You gutted the norms and rightly so. Now you’re shocked there’s no gentleman standing by with a scented handkerchief?

I also like the hard no sale with the women in the comments or the original video in general. Yes, ladies, cause bludgeoning us to death and browbeating men into outdated roles is the secret sauce to making them want to serve you, just look at how well that tactic’s worked the other way around.”

It’s 2025. You don’t get free shit cause you have a pair of tits and a vagina. You receive another random act of admiration for being born already; is that not enough?

• “Ladies drink free before midnight.”

• “Women and children first” — Even the Titanic prioritized estrogen over swimming lessons.

• “Let me carry that for you” — Not because you're tired just because you're female.

• “Men should always pay on the first date” — Ah yes, modern independence... selectively suspended when the bill arrives.

• “She gets lighter sentencing in court” — Google the “pussy pass” and marvel at how justice wears lipstick.

• “She gets promoted for ‘representation’” — Not talent. No track record. Just demographics with a dash of PR sparkle.

• “She makes $100k/month on OnlyFans for existing” — Meanwhile, you’re shadowbanned for saying “good morning.”

• Family Court Bias (aka “Default Mom Mode”) Custody battles overwhelmingly favor women even when fathers are more stable. 80% of custodial parents are mothers. Courts often assume maternal superiority without deeper review.

• Sentences for women are, on average, 63% shorter than men’s for the same crimes (U.S. Sentencing Commission).

But no, go on. Tell me how much I should randomly give up my seat to you.

You’ve seen the clip? A row of guys is sitting, while women are standing on the London Tube. Virality spiked when @annibaxter posted it to “Man of the Year” by Lorde. Comments exploded!

So what’s really happening here? Is #chivalrydead, or are we redefining it?

# 1 Is in The Fucking Grave Where It Should be

Do you know the etymology of the word, or why or when it even started?

Chivalry began in the medieval era (1100s–1400s) as a code of conduct for knights. That’s right, it began in a time where kings would sleep with men's newly wedded wives, and you would be publicly beheaded for stealing a loaf of bread.

It combined military loyalty, religious duty, and respect for women, especially noblewomen. Think of it as protecting damsels, fighting with honor, and dying for one’s lord or lady.

Fast forward to now, would you die for a woman on the tube that you barely know? I mean shit, would they die for you? Who are you fighting with for a lady to have a seat on the train?

Feudal society needed structure back in the 1400s, and chivalry kept knights from being lawless killers.

Religion infused morality into warfare (crusading was seen as sacred). Courtly love elevated noblewomen as symbols of virtue and inspiration.

Naturally, as Industrialization and democracy made class-based codes feel outdated. Feminism and gender equality reframed male “protectiveness” as patronizing. Modern dating and social media have made emotional labor a two-way street.

Imagine that.

Today, chivalry is often seen as either romantic nostalgia or a relic of male dominance. So again, even if we tried it now, it's reserved for “romantic nostalgia”. I’m just trying to get home on the Victoria line, I ain’t trying to get romantic.

Equality replaced hierarchy, and reciprocity replaced obligation.

I don’t see anyone on the Bakerlooline with a sword and shield, and I haven’t seen a lot of noble women in my life. Here’s what I see a lot of…

So again, unless I know these women I care about, I'm not going to give them a seat on the train as much as they care about me.

#2 | A Viral Trend or a Cultural Shift?

It’s not just about a seat; it’s a snapshot of shifting social norms. Men are fed up of women saying shitty double stabndard filled hot takes and the next demanding that they get a seat cause they’re a woman. You can’t have it both ways; pick a side and stay there. Are you actually about equality or only about egalitarian life choices when it suits you?

If equality only shows up when it’s convenient, then it was never equality; it was camouflage for control. What a lot of women don’t understand is modern men aren’t rejecting kindness they’re rejecting being guilt-tripped into playing a role they never auditioned for

This taps into deeper discomfort, the tension between equality and courtesy. Psychology studies (like Schwartz’s Value Theory) show that when personal merit becomes the priority, spontaneous kindness can feel like a concession, an unwanted gift rather than a polite gesture. It’s like paying for dates. I love paying for my lady’s dates and flying her around. But before I met her, I hated paying for first dates for women I wouldn’t know and may or may not see again. That’s a polite concession-based gesture, a relic of a bygone era, but one facet of patriarchy women will REFUSE to let go of, despite not liking the patriarchy.

So which is it?

What began as gestures of love became contracts of appeasement until men woke up and stopped signing blank checks with their time, money, and respect.

#3 | Chivalry vs. Equality - Why Can’t We Have Both?

On one side, some men argue that chivalry is outdated. “If she’s not pregnant, elderly, or disabled, why should I stand?”

On the flip side, some women resent the lack of courtesy, especially when basic kindness disappears. But where are all the gender equality advocates? Is it really courteous to give up my seat JUST cause you’re a woman?

Because last week, I was told that treating a woman differently based on her gender was sexist. But today? It’s “basic courtesy.” Where exactly is the line between chivalry and chauvinism? Or does it just move depending on how tired your feet are? You can’t yell “We want equality!” with one breath, then demand “Ladies first!” with the next. That’s gender exceptionalism, and we’re tired of it.

Even as a kid I remember they used to say shit like, “let the girls go first”. And I remember thinking as a kid that we were all the same, why should they get to go first? I’ve always believed in equality of opportunity but never equality of outcome. You want true respect? Cool. That means equal footing, not a plastic throne made of double standards and selective struggle. You don't get to cash in on patriarchal perks while burning the patriarchy at brunch.

If I’m expected to offer you a seat just because you’re a woman, then we’re not equals, we’re in a pageant where I lose points for existing with a Y chromosome.

These micro-entitlements are dying year after year cause men are waking up to the blatant hypocrisy.

Psychology shows social norms are sticky. Milgram’s subway experiments found about 56% gave up their seat with no justification, but only 27% did when the ask was pre-announced.

#4 | What Public Transit Etiquette Actually Dictates

Priority seats exist worldwide, reserving spots for the elderly, disabled, and pregnant. Which is something I can guarantee most men would do. If I see an elderly person, a pregnant woman, or a disabled person, I’d jump out of my seat. London and NYC follow similar standards; U.S. transit etiquette also emphasizes giving up seats for those in need.

FOR THOSE IN NEED.

Read that again!

But courtesy toward women just because they’re women?

That’s socially optional and increasingly uncomfortable. Again, cause men are tired.

Some people say that men holding seats for friends or racing for a spot reflects self-oriented scarcity, not thoughtlessness. Of course it does, why after a hard day of work would anyone in their right mind just be like “Hey person I know nothing about, here’s a seat I’d much rather have myself”?

In general, I like people. I feel like there are a lot of good people in this world. But I don’t trust people I don’t know, or anyone for that matter. The people I trust I can count on both hands. So yes, we have become a self-involved and selfish society, but mainly because it is every man and woman for themselves, and no one, not one stranger, is rushing to do anything “good for you” unless someone is filming it.

We teach equality, and then shame anyone who wouldn’t give up a seat. But if everyone sits out of obligation, kindness morphs into resentment. People do things cause they’re supposed to, not because they actually want to. Obligation breeds bitterness; only freedom gives birth to real virtue. Once things like this are expected, they cease to become noble and morph into a rigid performative circle.

A 2018 YouGov survey found 63% of men feel less obligated to show old-school chivalry post-feminism.

In public transport studies (e.g., Journal of Social Behavior), seats are offered more often to users who appear “deserving” (elderly, pregnant, injured), not based on gender alone.

#5 | Women Don’t Even Like Us

You dehumanize us to a point where you think we’re not tired, and we don’t have long days either. And have the audacity to complain about a seat. You’d be lucky if you got a slice of pizza, to be honest. Again…

I don’t fucking know you.

The average woman is so full of passive contempt and hate for the modern man these days, you don’t know if you’d be giving your seat up for some misandrist, calling for the eradication of all men. They say things like:

• Men's lives are easier

• Men are given everything on a plate

• Men are predators

• Men are the problem

• Men are emotional idiots

• He’s broke = He’s not a real man.

• All men think with their d*cks.

• Men are intimidated by strong women.

Well I’ll tell you what toughy, you’re so strong, let those strong ass legs stand while you wait for seat to become available instead of pouting like an incessant little child.

You want to dismantle the patriarchy? Start by living in the future and not assuming you’re entitled to a seat.

What I always find hilarious is when there’s a counterargument or men call out a woman's hypocrisy. Women resort to middle school-level ad hominem attacks.

85,000 fucking people agreed with this zealot.

Nothing says "evolved womanhood" like regressing into gendered mockery the second a man points out hypocrisy. You march for equality on Saturday, post “boys should cry more” on Sunday, and by Tuesday, you’re calling a man “emotional,” “soft,” or “princess-like” the moment he opens his mouth to question your double standard?

I like to call this misandry mascara. Women wear it more often than they realize.

You can’t spend decades trying to dismantle toxic masculinity and then turn around and weaponize it when it’s convenient. You’re not smashing the patriarchy, you’re just hoarding its tools and spray-painting them pink.

Calling men “princesses” when they speak up is the same tired patriarchal script. You want men to be vulnerable until that vulnerability exposes your own inconsistencies. Then suddenly, it’s “grow up, little princess.” Every time a woman mocks a man for holding a boundary, expressing a need, or pointing out a bias, she’s reinforcing the very oppression she’s allegedly against.

It’s so comically predictable.

The irony of men being called princesses by women when they don’t bow down to their gynocentric overlords is not lost upon me.

The loudest critics of masculinity are often the first to demand its comforts. Don’t claim the system is broken while still expecting its benefits.

#6 I actually do believe in chivalry

With women I KNOW!.

My girl, my mum, the women at work, women I know at the gym. Women I trust and are a part of my life. Women whom I have a history of respect, admiration, and adoration for. Women who have been huge parts of my life and I’ve learn and grown so much more for.

Chivalry isn’t for strangers; it’s for the proven. Kindness without trust is just currency for manipulation. You learn over time as a man that chivalry isn’t universal; it’s curated. I’ll bleed for the women who would stitch me back together. Not for the ones who hand me the knife.

Remember that, fellas. Remember when we told them about the male loneliness epidemic and they used that as a tool to mock us and used it as butt of their jokes. Remember when June was men's mental health awareness month, and hardly anyone spoke about it.

Remember this.

When it’s all said and done, women deserve all the respect in the world, kindness, honesty, and a fair shake…

But no more than any other human. Women should never get preferential treatment from you unless you KNOW them. You hold doors for a human? Hold doors open for women, you’d thank someone for letting you buy in your car, thank women. Learn to stop putting women you don’t know on a pedestal and start treating them like a normal contributing human in society.

I refuse to pour gold into vessels that mock the very hands that offer it. Respect given blindly is respect abused. The world told us to worship women before knowing them, and mocked us when we broke under the weight of that pedestal. Never again. I give reverence where there is reality, not fantasy.

And so we’re back where we started, another train, another seat, another modern woman demanding medieval reverence from the very men she mocks. But chivalry isn’t dead. It’s just been buried under decades of hypocrisy, bruised egos, and weaponized equality.

You want my seat? In 2025, I don’t serve titles, I serve truth. I give kindness to the women who’d defend my name when I’m not in the room, not to those who scroll past men’s mental health month like it’s spam. I’ll open doors for my mother, my girl, and the rare few who walk like equals, not for strangers with contempt in their eyes and entitlement in their posture. Call me a villain. Call me a princess. Just don’t expect me to bow. The era of unearned devotion is over. If you want to honor, live like someone worth honoring.

Your friend,

Mav.