Men should still make the first move. Go for it, chat her up, get the digits, ask for a date. They actually find it more reassuring rather than just sitting there staring at her.
But — and this may be counterintuitive— don’t chat up women you’re not attracted to for practice. For some reason, they’re more likely to complain about you than the ones you actually like.
I don't know why women put up with friends like the one you encountered in the bar. Just because your friend has concluded she's gonna die alone with many cats, doesn't mean you want to get dragged down with her. Women need some norms equivalent to "don't cock block."
Seriously though!? It’s this weird hive like mentality of “I’m a girls girl”. So even if their friend acts like a complete cock wombler. They still stand by her. It’s so odd.
I want to simply say that's a hypergamy thing, because women want perceived high status men, it's more likely to be in there interests to sabotage a friends chance to go for the guy, but in the case it didn't give her a better chance, it just blew it for all of the women there. The funny thing is, if the less attractive woman is at least somewhat interesting, she'll probably get one of the guys talking to her just to be wingman. And I'm sure in the history of picking up women, sometimes the wingman and the "mid" chick win.
#10 didn’t approach because she was annoying, a tramp, clearly high maintenance, etc.
#11 didn’t approach because I already have a woman. And stop looking at me, you’re old enough to be a grandmother; why the Hell are you dating, madam? 🙄
"They have this notion of serendipitously meeting that perfect person. Yet these are the same people that will say, “I’m afraid to go out by myself”."
This point, number 5, "False Opportunity," resonated with me, because I've heard too many comments from well-meaning people who don't have a clue what it's like to date as a young, single man.
Too many people think if you "just be yourself," be nice, or something like that, you'll just magically meet your person out and about and everything will just be okay.
Women have collectively mastered what's known in business as "attraction marketing." A part of the resounding success of this strategy is that men are extremely physiologic. We see something, we want it and it's like a short circuit in the brain. What evolution has hard-wired into us for millennia, is used as a weapon against men, and we are told to jump through various hoops if we are to have a shot.
No problem. We, men, are not perfect. But we eventually learn and adjust. So there will be a change. It is already happening. Men are beginning to say no to online dating, the legal trap known as marriage and the generally ridiculous societal construct that "a man must."
Men will adapt. I am not sure women will like how the state of affairs could evolve. But they will have only themselves to thank.
I’d agree that women have mastered attraction marketing—social media, beauty standards, and the art of selective accessibility have turned dating into a game where men are the eager buyers and women kinda like the luxury brand. The psychology of scarcity, desire, and visual impulse is a real thing, and men, driven by biology, have historically played right into it, of course. Some of us have refined our approach, but many are still floundering.
Men are adapting, and fast. The rules of engagement are shifting, and many women, particularly those who have been conditioned to expect men to play by the old handbook despite them playing by a new one, won’t like what that means for them.
The real question isn’t whether men will change—it’s whether both genders will find a way to meet in the middle before the whole system collapses under the weight of its own contradictions.
"...whether both genders will find a way to meet in the middle..."
I believe they will. IMO, things will continue to become more transactional and globalized. Different from the way things used to be, but the cookie crumbles the way it does.
Stop chasing lotto tickets, buy assets.
Men should still make the first move. Go for it, chat her up, get the digits, ask for a date. They actually find it more reassuring rather than just sitting there staring at her.
But — and this may be counterintuitive— don’t chat up women you’re not attracted to for practice. For some reason, they’re more likely to complain about you than the ones you actually like.
I don't know why women put up with friends like the one you encountered in the bar. Just because your friend has concluded she's gonna die alone with many cats, doesn't mean you want to get dragged down with her. Women need some norms equivalent to "don't cock block."
Seriously though!? It’s this weird hive like mentality of “I’m a girls girl”. So even if their friend acts like a complete cock wombler. They still stand by her. It’s so odd.
I want to simply say that's a hypergamy thing, because women want perceived high status men, it's more likely to be in there interests to sabotage a friends chance to go for the guy, but in the case it didn't give her a better chance, it just blew it for all of the women there. The funny thing is, if the less attractive woman is at least somewhat interesting, she'll probably get one of the guys talking to her just to be wingman. And I'm sure in the history of picking up women, sometimes the wingman and the "mid" chick win.
You’re right. Lord knows I’ve taken one for the team a few times just so my friend can get to know a girl.
Well said, Mav; very true
Thanks for reading, Alfred ☺️
The reality of course is that we're not equals, so as long as this social regime persists men and women just won't talk to eachother.
I gave up on that long ago.
I’d rather pay for it tbh.
#10 didn’t approach because she was annoying, a tramp, clearly high maintenance, etc.
#11 didn’t approach because I already have a woman. And stop looking at me, you’re old enough to be a grandmother; why the Hell are you dating, madam? 🙄
"They have this notion of serendipitously meeting that perfect person. Yet these are the same people that will say, “I’m afraid to go out by myself”."
This point, number 5, "False Opportunity," resonated with me, because I've heard too many comments from well-meaning people who don't have a clue what it's like to date as a young, single man.
Too many people think if you "just be yourself," be nice, or something like that, you'll just magically meet your person out and about and everything will just be okay.
Women have collectively mastered what's known in business as "attraction marketing." A part of the resounding success of this strategy is that men are extremely physiologic. We see something, we want it and it's like a short circuit in the brain. What evolution has hard-wired into us for millennia, is used as a weapon against men, and we are told to jump through various hoops if we are to have a shot.
No problem. We, men, are not perfect. But we eventually learn and adjust. So there will be a change. It is already happening. Men are beginning to say no to online dating, the legal trap known as marriage and the generally ridiculous societal construct that "a man must."
Men will adapt. I am not sure women will like how the state of affairs could evolve. But they will have only themselves to thank.
I’d agree that women have mastered attraction marketing—social media, beauty standards, and the art of selective accessibility have turned dating into a game where men are the eager buyers and women kinda like the luxury brand. The psychology of scarcity, desire, and visual impulse is a real thing, and men, driven by biology, have historically played right into it, of course. Some of us have refined our approach, but many are still floundering.
Men are adapting, and fast. The rules of engagement are shifting, and many women, particularly those who have been conditioned to expect men to play by the old handbook despite them playing by a new one, won’t like what that means for them.
The real question isn’t whether men will change—it’s whether both genders will find a way to meet in the middle before the whole system collapses under the weight of its own contradictions.
"...whether both genders will find a way to meet in the middle..."
I believe they will. IMO, things will continue to become more transactional and globalized. Different from the way things used to be, but the cookie crumbles the way it does.