A harmless man is not a good man.

They're the ones you really want to watch out for.

• "He was a quiet guy, always polite, never caused any trouble—just the kind of person you wouldn't expect this from."

• "Honestly, he seemed like your average neighbor; he waved when he saw you and kept to himself."

• "Nobody saw it coming. He was just a regular guy—nothing unusual about him at all."

• "He never raised his voice or got into fights; he always seemed calm and in control."

• "If you asked me yesterday, I'd have said he was harmless— but nothing alarming."

Ever heard this before?

Well, these quotes are taken directly from witnesses, friends, and neighbors who knew or saw the following men.

Stephen Paddock, Adam Lanza, Jeffrey Dahmer, Ted Bundy, Nikolas Cruz.

Ya know, nice, normal guys.

I’ve never really wanted to be a nice guy or be perceived as a good guy.

I’ve never trusted them.

Nice guys, “good men,” and perceived great guys are the worst of them.

At least in my very biased and completely unobjective opinion.

Because it’s not really who they are. The kindest faces often mask the sharpest claws.

They’re insincere, and these men are probably more dangerous than most women and other men realize.

It sounds odd, right?

But I have found in my life the man who wears a mask of virtue usually hides the face of deceit.

Most TV shows, movies, and songs glamorize the “good guy,” the guy who does “the right thing.” The man who says “says all the right things” cause he’s a good guy.

• Jim from the Office - he might seem like a good guy, but he’s kind of a bully who thinks he’s better than everyone in the office and basically got a girlfriend out of cheating.

• Dawson Leery - nuff said.

• Ross Geller - pines over Rachel and, despite them never dating, thinks she's the only girl for him, and he deserves her.

• Xander Harris - (Buffy The Vampire Slayer) - sulking like a little bitch cause he got rejected by buffy summers.

• Mouth (One Tree Hill) - Smashes Brooke’s car window cause she hooks up with someone who isn’t him. Lame.

I have believed and always known that seemingly nice harmless guys are full of shit.

Yeah, that’s right, full of absolute shit.

The most dangerous actors play the heroes.

I went to a baby shower recently, and I helped my partner set up. She was stressed and clearly overwhelmed, so I figured, how hard could it be? We got to the venue and set things up with the mother-to-be; the husband was nowhere to be found.

That’s right. A woman who was due in three months was helping set up her own baby shower despite my partner and I telling her to sit down. In fact, her mother took her to Starbucks to get her a cookie to stop her from working while some close friends and the rest of us set up.

Where was the father of the child?

He showed up just as it started, and everyone was there. He showed up very charismatic, talking to everyone and being that loveable preacher's son he is. He is a God-fearing man who, with his God-fearing wife, conceived a child the right way under the bounds of holy matrimony and all that.

That’s what you notice on the outside.

Here are more things I noticed on the inside.

When the event was over, I started to clear the tables as I didn't want to be there past 5:00 p.m. and wanted to go home and chill. My partner followed, and his sweet grandma helped along with his sisters and wife, whom we kept telling to stop.

Where was he?

Talking to some people.

Every now and then, his wife would ask him to take something to the car, carry the gifts, or do another task. But he never volunteered; he didn’t have the common sense to be proactive and do it himself or ask how he could help.

Why?

He probably didn't want to.

Good guys don’t do things because they’re good guys; they do things because people can see them doing them because they’ve been asked and because they want to be perceived as good men.

A Harmless Man is Not Man Enough to Be Honest

The most polished mirrors reflect the most distorted truths, just as the 'nicest' smiles often conceal the sharpest fangs.

Honesty, brutal and raw, is the first issue these men have and will struggle with their whole life. These men often mistake silence for peace, forgetting that in a time of deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act. There is a world where you can be honest and not a fucking dick head.

The harmless man often sidesteps this authenticity, fearing the ripples his truthful words might create. Because society has spent so long scaring the shit out of him, he hasn’t formed the cajones to think for himself and find a nice genuine way of communicating the hard conversations. He just ignores it or caves into the opposing command. But when men try to avoid waves, they run the risk of becoming an island, isolated by their own reluctance to engage.

Not Genuine in His Interactions

Ever noticed how some interactions leave you feeling like you just conversed with a well-scripted, clean-cut robot? The Mr. Nice Guy, whose every word seems calibrated not to offend, is boring as fuck; you see them at work, interact with them at family gatherings and see them when you go on “couples dates.”

The sincerity of interaction is lost here; you can tell this is not what he thinks as soon as he opens his mouth, but it is replaced by a polished veneer that's as thin as it is brittle and modern takes he might have heard on CNN.

This isn't a genuine connection—it's social pacifism, where real emotions and thoughts are masked under layers of bullshit-cliched niceties from a bloke who takes himself far too seriously. You know, the kind of guy who swears he’s a pop feminist and fighting for women’s rights, especially when he’s on social media or in a social interaction with a large majority of women.

There are lots of men who write like this on this platform, and their performative and pandering articles only fool those who fail to think critically every day in their lives. These are the kind of men who go to women's marches with their best girlfriends whilst secretly hoping they can have sex with her when she realizes he’s the one or he can “break out the friendzone.”

You didn’t learn from Derrick Jaxon or Matthew Hussey, right?

No, women will continue to be scammed by these men who are “speaking for them.”

I’ve met these men. They’re haters. Before my current partner, I dated a girl for 5 months, and I met one of her close “guy friends.” Of course, after our first meeting, she let me know he didn't really like me.

I started to chuckle.

Her: Why is that funny?

Me: Cause if he could trade spots and be where I am, he would.

Her: You’re saying he’s into me!?

Me: Haha, of course he is.

Her: No WAY!

Me: Haha, yes, way. Dudes obsessed.

We went back and forth until she conceded that he once propositioned her for a date she said they were better off as friends, but that was 2 years ago.

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Does Things Because It's the 'Right Thing' to Do

Now, doing the right thing isn’t wrong, but what is the right thing?

It all comes down to WHY you’re doing the right thing.

Are you giving money to the homeless in front of your date? Or donating to charities from the comfort of your own home with only your knowledge?

For good guys, the right thing is measured by public applause, not by private assurance. These men are not acting kind to change the world but to change how the world sees them.

But when actions are performed only for their performative value, to get followers and readers, or to pretend that you’re “one of the good ones”, we drift into murky waters.

It's like saying you love the environment while you casually sip water from your single-use plastic bottle because everyone’s watching. It's the classic case of virtue signaling, where the appearance of virtue is all that matters, not the virtue itself. There are too many of these fucking clowns around here, and only a few people can see it.

They seek applause for their virtues, not virtue in their actions.

I’ll never forget my friend telling me.

Friend: I wish I never had a kid

Me: Oh shit, sorry, man. But why did you have one?

Friend: Cause that’s what you’re supposed to do, man, to get married and have kids.

My friend is a good guy…

Pandering and Performative.

Theater, my friends, belongs on stage, not in our daily interactions. Yet, the harmless good man often treats life like a grand performance, where each act is designed to show people how good of a guy he is. I’ll never forget when I was at a BBQ, and the host announced that the food was ready; some random guest ran to the front and loudly proclaimed, “ladies first fellas.”

Fuck off, man.

This pandering isn't just disingenuous; it's a form of deep-rooted deception. When you actually care about shit like that, you do it for the woman you're with. I simply let my lady go first and let people do what they want. I might believe in chivalry, but I’m not gonna police what other men choose to do like that ass clown. That guy was single, but I’m sure his gesture came “from a good place.”

More Dangerous Because They Bottle Up What They Think

The unspoken is often more dangerous than the spoken. Women typically get so offended when a man on Tinder or Bumble says, “wanna come over and fuck!?”

But why?

Is it brazen? Yes.

Is it rude? Yes.

Is it inappropriate? Yes.

But this man has played his whole hand. You can instantly unmatch and move on or even block him.

But the nice guy, he won’t do that. The seemingly harmless guy will take you on nice dates, spend a decent amount of money on you, have sex with you, tell you he wants something serious, and do all the things “he’s supposed to do.”

And then one day…

Ghost you so fast your head will spin.

Look, direct words may cut sharply at the moment, but hidden intentions wound deeper, and they last a hell of a lot longer.

The harmless man, in his quest to avoid conflict, bottles up thoughts and feelings, creating a pressure cooker ready to explode. It's a volatile foundation for passive-aggressiveness or, worse, unexpected bursts of anger. Remember, it’s the quiet ones you have to watch. The quietest waters run deep, but the stillest air precedes the hurricane.

We’ve all heard the story, right?

“He was nice at first and treated me like a queen…

…then he just changed.”

Baby girl, that was NEVER who he was.

I hate Kanye West, but I like him.

I hate who he has become, the anti-Semitic things he says, his racism, the way he parades his woman around, and all the rest.

But I like him.

Why?

Cause that’s who he is, we know what we’re getting with him. I will never listen to his music or call myself a Kanye fan, or put money in his pocket cause he’s played his hand.

We know who he is cause he’s shown us time and time again.

But it’s the dudes who pretend to be your friend, buy you drinks at the bar, and hang out at your house but then jump online and say, “Lebron is a crybaby N***er.”

It's’ the men who cry for women's rights and empowerment and watch “violent teen porn” behind closed doors.

It’s the men who go to church every week who babysit your little cousin, and then because they don’t know there’s an internal baby cam. You see them trying to kiss her.

It’s the harmless guy who has some of the most twisted sexual fantasies of every woman who he sees.

Do you get the drift? These are stories I know of I’ve seen them happen and have experienced cause men will always be men; some men you can trust, and some you simply can’t. (Stick with me I’ll expand on this at the end)

It’s different with women.

Ya see if you don’t trust women and they hate you behind closed doors, there’s not much they would do.

Some men, on the other hand, might fucking kill you. That level of testosterone we have will always be a bigger difference.

Their Opinion is Based on Other People’s

Sometimes when I’m at a dinner party, a mixer, or meeting men I’ve never met before via a mutual friend, I can instantly tell that he’s full of shit. The things he says and believes are only the echoes of others on TikTok, IG, and Facebook; they’re not really his own opinions. The harmless man often harbors opinions that are not born of personal conviction but adopted from surrounding popular views. When someone I meet through friends spouts opinions that sound lifted from Instagram captions, they might as well introduce themselves as their username.

Cause he’s weak, his mind is a soggy paper towel that can break to whoever wets it.

Pathetic.

They Care Too Much About What Other People Think

The court of public opinion is the arena in which the harmless man often finds himself overly concerned with external validation rather than internal satisfaction. It’s a precarious place to be, balancing on a tightrope of approval, where one wrong step could send you tumbling. He’ll never realize who he truly is cause he refuses to let himself be. Like a chameleon in a disco ball factory, constantly shifting colors and patterns, hoping to reflect whatever might earn him a round of applause from whoever he’s in front of.

They Harbor Passive Hatred

Underneath the veneer of congeniality can lurk a passive resentment for all things audacious and authentic; I can always tell a guy like this cause they typically don’t like me, why?

Cause I’m me. Who I am and who I say I am. I am

Most try to discover who they are, I create who I want to be; most hope to be remembered, I ensure I am unforgettable.

Always have been and always will be. I’ve never given a fuck about what people think, and I never will. Good guys hate this cause their whole personality is based on being…

A GOOD GUY.

A boot licker, a pandering kiss ass, a brown nose who wants to please everyone.

It’s a silent disdain for those who dare to live vividly, those unafraid to show their flaws and speak their truths—a subtle hatred for the living because those motherfuckers are barely alive. Cause when you fail to develop and cultivate the man inside of you, your soul will have a slow and tiresome death. This muted hostility towards those who sparkle with genuine spirit—it’s as if they are breaking some unspoken law by not subscribing to the widespread practice of soulful atrophy.

Conclusion:

Choose to be you but the best part of you. I’m not imploring you to be a rabid douchebag who just goes around saying exactly what he thinks and feels and offending everyone, no. Use your fucking brains and common sense for goodness sake.

Honor your heart, heighten your heights. Nurture your nature, navigate your nirvana.

I’m asking you to live authentically, I’m asking you to be honest with yourself and other people. I’m asking you to lean into positive stoicism and control your testosterone. Despite the world being polarizing on either side there is a world where you can choose opinions from both sides and create the best version of you. To find peace, welcome truth; to keep peace, speak truth.

Stand up for yourself. Remember what you want, respect people in general by respecting yourself first, and don't do things just “cause”. Do the right thing by the grace of YOUR experiences. Do the right thing cause you want to, not cause it’s “what you do.” Honor your past, shape your future; live by choice, not by chance.

Most human beings are inherently good. I trust that you’ll make the correct decisions, but you have to make them for the right reasons, and there has to be an appropriate level of selfish tendencies, or you’ll live your life in misery.

I’m not asking you to be contrarian or do the polar opposite of what your gendered expectations are, but start thinking for yourself and put goodness back into the universe from your own volition, do it in private and by action.

The man who can kill you in 4 moves but simply doesn't engage in violence is a powerful man. The man who has a healthy appetite for women and is sexually attracted to other women but chooses a monogamous life. That’s a man. You can be that guy without telling people about it. The man who does house chores too, but doesn’t tell a soul about it apart from the woman you’re with. Be that guy.

Let’s be honest, genuine, and bold—characters in a story worth telling, not just footnotes in someone else’s narrative.