Men don’t even want to pay the bill anymore.

(Disclaimer: this article is for people actively dating; if that’s not you, bore off.)

Where have all the good men gone?

Indeed.

Where are all the bloody good men!?

A lot of women think the dating game is broken, but what if they’re simply just playing by outdated patriarchal rules?

The patriarchy you wanted to demolish.

The joke of some of today's modern women has grown into a parody of itself at this point. Complaining about dating under patriarchy while still insisting on patriarchal dating norms is like smashing the clock and asking why you’re late.

Yet so many women who claim to be modern progressive women subscribe to these outdated norms. In my experience, those who champion equality often recoil at shared responsibility yet eagerly embrace selective chivalry when it serves their desires.

Where the fuck have you been?

Stop trying to cling to outdated and archaic patriarchal dating norms.

Most of which most women still demand.

Pay for your own meal; maybe you can ask him out.

Maybe just maybe, you can plan the first date. Here’s an odd notion: what if you sent the first message by actually reading his profile!?

For decades, traditional roles dictated that men pay for all the initial dating engagements, initiate contact, be the decision maker, and genuinely lead things off.

But, “shit dun changed.”

Most women now work full-time and are now more educated than men. So, some men expect equal partnership and egalitarian principles when it comes to modern romance. I know, crazy, right!?

Yet too many women STILL expect men to live like we’re in they’re in the fucking 50’s, wearing a goddamn top hat to work and throwing our jackets on muddy floors so you can walk over them.

But a lot of us are getting bored tbh. We’re no longer happy with being served up as props in your nostalgia for dated traditions that don’t exist, have long adapted, or been left behind.

You can’t demand men to be knights in shining armor when the castle you’re building is a fortress of double standards to which you’re a lil princess who’s massively entitled.

Those days are dead.

You’re empowered, right?

You don’t even need us.

So go empower yourself and take a nice man out for a date, pay for that meal, pick him up, and text him back first.

Unless it’s all bullshit, and all your muttering is words.

“Men are doing the Bare Minimum.”

Of course, any man who’s a “real one” knows that when men try to even the playing field and start things off equal, women use the usual shaming tactics, which are:

• Insults: “What woman hurt you so badly?” This shifts the focus, making him defend himself instead of addressing the original issue.“afraid to commit” or “not real men,” side stepping the valid critique of an antiquated societal dating scenario.

• Shaming: “You’re just weak and can’t handle a strong woman,” “until we all have qual pay, I ain’t paying for shit” or dismissing his perspective and ignoring broader global preferences

• Questioning masculinity: “You’re not a real man” or “A real man would…” to challenge a man’s identity or self-worth when he expresses his standards, concerns, or frustrations.

And, of course, the most recent one:

“Men are doing the bare minimum.”

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If men even dare express a preference, suddenly, you’re not just a man with standards, you’re the root cause of every breakup since Adam and Eve, toxic, and somehow they’ll manage to throw in the word narcissist or patriarchy somewhere.

So many women claim frustration with men doing just enough to meet them on a first date.

But…

Why should they, and why would they do any more than that?

The bare minimum.

What’s a first date?

It is for two people to get to know each other and see if they’d like to go out again. Nothing more, nothing less.

It’s up to the two of you to decide how gender roles will play into that when the moment calls for you both to do so.

So what kind of an idiot does a man look like going above and beyond to impress a woman who could be:

• Wanting a foodie date

• Seeing other men

• Sleeping with other men

• Has a friend with benefits on the side

• Is married.

• In a relationship already (just wanted an ego boost cause her man is trash)

• Might not even like you.

• Using the date to post on social media

• Boredom

• Rebounding

• Unresolved personal issues

The bare minimum is all anyone deserves on a first date.

I don’t give a fuck. Effort is earned, not assumed; respect is given, not guaranteed. Men must always start simple, stay true, and let action define their value.

For most men, you almost have to unlearn that very notion of what a first date is. Instead, remember that the first date isn’t an audition, it’s reconnaissance. You’re not there to impress. You’re both there to observe and enjoy each other's company.

The older you get, the fewer dating norms exist.

A lot of my older female friends complain they’re not getting wined and dined anymore; things are changing, and men do the bare minimum.

That’s what happens when you age.

You lose things; it affects your dating life as well. There always is and always will be a sweet spot to settle down, cause after that sweet spot, everything is on hard mode, and most people don’t realize it till it’s too late.

Or some people are so completely deluded that they never realize and die alone.

You must settle down while you’re a choice, not a compromise; after the sweet spot, it’s all uphill on loose gravel with gale-force winds thumping your face at 200 mph. Youth will always give you leverage; age hands you brutal lessons, and the timing defines your outcome.

As people age, the dating pool narrows, and expectations shift. For women, some societal pressures about youth and fertility can make dating more challenging. But I get it right, most of you don’t care and want to be cat ladies, yada, yada, and don’t need men, so ignore me.

That’s fine.

But when you’re done coping. Swallow your pride and realize you don’t have all the time in the world. No one does. And if you still think men are the problem, think you’re missing the point entirely.

Pride is easy to swallow, but wasted time is a feast you’ll regret men aren’t the problem; your shitty narrow-minded excuses are. You can blame men all you want, but every second you waste proves the point you’re refusing to see.

What Women Face - A 37-year-old woman navigating dating might find herself held to different standards than her younger self. Men often scrutinize her past relationships and current “value.” It might not be right, but based on the balance of probabilities, that’s what it is.

What Men Face - Men are now more aware that women have options and higher standards. This realization creates pressure to perform, which can lead to frustration or avoidance. That’s why a lot of men have resigned themselves to talking shit behind a screen instead of going out and trying to meet new women.

So what can we all do!?

If you’re frustrated with modern dating, here’s what you do.

Remember, life will always be about adapting or dying inside. If modern dating feels like a war zone, gear up and adapt because standing still is just a slow death.

The game has changed, and expecting things to stay the same is a recipe for frustration. Developing emotional intelligence and learning to communicate openly are no longer optional; they’re essential.

Reflect on your expectations and ask yourself if they align with who you are and what you provide in a relationship. You can’t demand what you aren’t willing to contribute. Entitlement won’t get you far in a world where relationships require more effort than they ever have. People who realize this are happy, and other people pretend they are.

The currency of real relationships is genuine effort, not entitlement; those who spend wisely will grow rich in love, while those who hoard and blame will always remain poor in spirit. Just read most of the articles on this platform, and you’ll know exactly who they are.

For women, the era of simply waiting for the right partner to align with traditional old dating expectations is over, done, and finished. Men like that are out there, sure, but you’ll have to work harder to bag them as they’re few and far between, and they know it.

Adapt to a world that values connection over societal cliched compliance, and make choices that honor your growth.

Relationships thrive when both parties let go of entitlement, embrace accountability, and meet each other with mutual respect. Growth happens when you stop blaming the outside world and start addressing the insecurities and traumas holding you back. The path to fulfilling relationships isn’t paved with demands but with self-awareness, effort, and the courage to change.

Toughen The Fuck Up.

Modern dating isn’t easy, but it’s not impossible.

Men who give up deserve what they get cause they never really tried. Push doors of rejection till you find someone you want in every sense of the word's meaning.

When we prioritize responsibility, honesty, and respect, we stop searching for love and start creating it.

What are you gonna do?

If you’ve ever felt stuck or frustrated with dating, let’s talk about it. Share your experiences in the comments, and don’t forget to follow for more insights.